March 23, 2009

The awful truth: our secret hidden agenda revealed

Mind like a steel trap, that Kory from Denver. He's outed us all:

Veterinarians, animal welfare organizations and the "animal control officers" trained and connected to such groups are biased and will never admit the truth (see "The Emperor's Clothes" by Hans Christian Anderson) because they are all chasing a reducing pool of financial donors who easily succomb to the hidden agendas and propaganda offered up by pit bull breeders, owners and their financial supporters. As these groups often accept donations for their lobbying efforts from unknown entities, they are deliberately indifferent to the real and present danger that dog fighters are using them as "strawmen" for their own illicit agenda. Can they really guarantee anyone that not one $ was donated by Michael Vick or his associates?
Same stuff, toned down a bit here:
Kori [sic — how fitting is that, I ask you?] Nelson, a Denver assistant city attorney who led the city’s fight to re-enact its ban on pit bulls in 2004, called pit bulls a unique breed with inherently dangerous characteristics.

He said the ban is working as evidenced by the fact that there has not been a serious attack since the ban was enacted.

“I don’t know anyone who argues that pit bull bans or restrictions are designed to prevent all dog bites,” he said. “It’s designed to prevent maulings and death attacks by pit bulls.”

Comparing pit bulls to grenades, Nelson said the purpose of banning the breed is to prevent unprovoked attacks.

“Once a grenade goes off, the damage is already done,” he said.

The assistant city attorney also suggested a “secret hidden agenda” behind anti-BSL groups like the Coalition for Living Safely with Dogs and the Humane Society of the United States. Nelson pointed out that such groups rely on donations for their efforts, especially when the economy is down.

“It’s politically incorrect for them to admit the truth of this, which is that pit bulls are more dangerous,” said Nelson, who added that donations could come from anywhere, even including leaders of dog-fighting rings.

The ban is working in my home town, too! No "pit bull" maulings since forever! Oh, wait [slaps forehead] — we don't have a ban! Silly me.

I know I should be ashamed that dogfighters have been using my blog as a "'straw man' for their own illicit agenda," but damn, pit bull lobbyists make good money. I guess I'll have to take the dogfight promos down, now, and stop selling puppies. I knew I should have kept my day job.


Anonymous said...

The only explanation I can come up with is that people are completely insane. Or retarded. Or insanely retarded.

Caveat said...

Shhhh...we don't want them to find out how much we're raking in by fighting to save 'pit bulls' from wankers like Nelson and his clones. I want to keep my fancy standard of living so please, please, don't tell how much it pays to be a 'strawman' for 'pit bulls'. It's a licence to print, I tell you what.

Denver had one 'pit bull' related death prior to its ban (in 1986, ban came in in '89) and has had none since. A similarly sized city with comparable demographics, Portland, also had one 'pit bull' related fatality in 1986 and didn't overreact and bring in a ban. It, too, has not had a repeat fatality by an alleged 'pit bull'.

Karen D has a good section on Colorado, available here:

sp said...

i don't know how i could've been so blind, so naive.

i think troy mclure said it best in the musical "Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want To Get Off!":

"you made a monkey out of me...."