I knew Bill Koehler. Bill Koehler was a friend of mine.

All-time closest-to-my-heart dog movie, and not just because they filmed the mountain lion scenes near our cabin and Dad took us to watch. Also, check out the spray-painted forest floor as the continuity people try to make SoCal's San Bernardino National Forest look like green Quebec. I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH. Awesome Irish Setters trained by, who else, William Koehler. Click to embiggen.

I'm lying. I did know Bill Koehler, and I admired and respected him, but I was eleven years old when I took my beagle to his Novice Obedience class, so it wasn't like we were friends or anything. I like to imagine, though, that if you'd asked him years later about a kid and a beagle in some class back in the day, he would have said, "I remember them. They got a passing score, didn't they?"

"No agnostic ever burned anyone at the stake." [Daniel J. Boorstin]

We did. Like most Koehler grads, that beagle and I could have walked into a Novice ring the day after obedience class ended and walked out with a qualifying score. Her spirit was not damaged by Koehler obedience. She was a spoiled, fat, happy little hound, as smart as any dog I've known, a beloved family member, an eager hunter, a champ at stealing food she couldn't get by begging, and the Koehler method, at least as it was applied by an eleven year old, didn't change any of that. The class made us both a lot smarter, and a lot closer. I loved it.

I think Bill Koehler was a genius with dogs. He taught every session of the class and worked with every type of dog and every type of handler under the sun. I saw no dogs ruined, no spirits broken, no "learned helplessness" — and I was an observant, kind-hearted youngster. I got the impression that Bill Koehler respected the intelligence and the character of each dog he worked with, and he wanted us to do the same.

*************

"But... but... that thing he did!" Well, yeah. My second dog I trained at home so I wouldn't have to pitch a throw-chain in her general direction. But I took her to a Koehler class after that, and we had fun and she did great.

"But... what about that other thing?" I found something that worked a lot better. Not everything Bill Koehler advocated was right for me and my dogs.

*************

A friend who shows her dogs in AKC obedience overheard the following exchange at ringside at a recent show, where one poorly-trained Novice dog after another was coming to grief:

"What has happened to Novice? The dogs used to do so much better than this."

"Well, yeah! They used to be trained by the Koehler method."

*************

I used a clicker to train my pit bull Bounce [who had no interest whatsoever in retrieving toys or tennis balls] to fetch. After two sessions of maybe fifteen minutes each, two evenings in a row, she would fly to pick up a wooden dumbbell and return it to my hand. If I remember right, I used broken-up pieces of potato chips for treats. Huge fun, clickers.

On the other hand, anyone who says you can train a working border collie to work livestock using a clicker is talking out of his elbow. It simply can't be done with a clicker, for a host of reasons, and anyone who says it can has never gotten a dog around a USBCHA Open course. There are aversives in stockdog training. Sometimes there are rather strong aversives. And there are no food treats, ever — the dog wouldn't take them if you offered. I'm sure you can use a clicker to teach a dog to be obedient around stock, but obedience on stock is for conformation-bred dogs and AKC trials, not for Zamora.

*************

Ian Dunbar says that a puppy should meet 100 friendly people of every size, age, appearance and ethnicity by the time the pup is three months old. I think this is possibly the greatest advice you can give to the owner of a new puppy, and I think if everyone in the country actually did this and did it right, the number of serious dog bites would approach zero. The socialization window slams shut by four months, people. Git 'er done.

On the same topic: the third chapter of Jean Donaldson's book Culture Clash — the chapter entitled Socialization, Fear and Aggression — is possibly the most important thing a first-time dog owner should read.

I'm not saying we should have mandatory classes with reading assignments, or anything like that. [On the other hand, is it a jungle out there or what?]

*************

My sister has an awesome pug. Her pug is spoiled and happy and sleeps on the bed and goes on fun hikes and has her own wardrobe. Lily MunsterPug also sits politely at the door and comes when called. She's perfect, really. My sister follows some of Cesar Millan's training recommendations. She does not, however, poke dogs with her fingers and go "Tzchttt!"

*************

I love when someone tries to defuse a religious argument by saying, "I think we all can agree that there are many paths to enlightenment."

Boom! "You know you're going to hell, don't you? Straight to hell." "Truth, not tolerance! Only one truth!" [opponents pound chests, walk away on knuckles]

Right now, advocates of different dog-training methods might as well be arguing about religion. They look like Oneness Pentecostals and Apostolic United Brethren hollering at each other, "Not Christian!" "Am too!" "Not Christian!" "Am too!" It's embarrassing to watch. Seriously. Not to mention that 99% of the dog owning public does. not. care.


Dogs are individuals. Handlers are individuals. A training method that suits one dog may not suit another. Combining techniques from different methods may work best. Whether disciples of the First Regular Church of Jesus Alive like it or not, there are many paths to enlightenment — and thank God for that. I mean, thank doG.



Related:
Cesar Millan: his dog, and his critics. Brent of KC Dog Blog rounds up the usual suspects.

Dog Training Symposium - First of It's Kind, Cesar Millan and American Humane Convene the Event. Its, dammit. Holy Mother of God, check out this comment.

H/T to Calvin Trillin for the First Regular Church of Jesus Alive.

U.S. Customs Canine Enforcement Training [video]

"Lab mix" when he's keeping the nation safe — "pit mix" if you're the nitwit: Rocky [former shelter dog], an explosive detector dog for U.S. Customs.

Time sink city — for the wonks, anyway ;~) To quote the most awesome and excellent Ta-Nehisi Coates:

C-SPAN has uploaded much of their video library. It's searchable. There is only one sensible reply to this information--Oh. My. God.

"Each dog is a unique individual, and so is each handler." Eugene Kerven, U.S. Customs Service Canine Enforcement Training Center Director.

So I ran across a 22-minute vid on dog training and training facilities operated by the U.S. Customs Service filmed back in 2001. At the time, 87% of the dogs used by U.S. Customs were from pounds and shelters — the type of dog Area Man turns in because Scout is bouncing off the walls and tearing the house down. [Scout is the kind of easy-to-motivate dog that trainers love. That I love, anyway.] The video is unembeddable — click on the link to view.

Read more here: U.S. border security canine programs

Amarok

Random news articles from the RSS feed:

Idaho hunter takes 180-pound wolf, via The Oudoor Pressroom. Head and skin to the left, from an image by Shawn Gust for the Coeur d'Alene Press.

Sea Wolves are not Sea Dogs, by Heather Houlahan over at her Raised by Wolves blog: hands down the best thing I expect to read on the trainer-killed-by-orca tragedy.

As they say, read it and weep.

This is not herding.

This is not herding. This is not herding. THIS IS NOT HERDING. Photo by Brandon Thibodeaux for The New York Times.

It's prey drive. Say it with me: PREY DRIVE. Your dog is not herding.

But he's a "herding breed," you say?

Stop. Please.

Prey drive is what makes your dog nip at your elbow when you start running, if he doesn't know any better.

Also: there is no excuse for his not knowing better.

Ever notice how actual working-bred border collies — reactive dogs with the prey drive of a dozen hungry leopards — manage to run around an agility course without chasing and nipping at their handlers? Ever been to an actual sheepdog trial, and noticed how real stockdogs never "herd" spectators or stray children? That's because chasing people and nipping at them isn't herding.

So when I see something like this, I could beat my head on rocks. Dear jogger: your handsome Catahoula is not mouthing your elbow because he's a "herding breed." He's mouthing your elbow because he has no manners. Don't make excuses for his rude behavior. If you spend a little time training him, you'll both enjoy those jogging sessions a lot more.

[Have I made a distinction between prey drive and "herding" before? Why yes, in the very first post on this blog! I started this entire blogging endeavor just to rant about how much it grates to hear someone who has never worked livestock with a stockdog announce that Scout is "herding the kids" because Scout is a Sheltie and not a Cocker Spaniel and Shelties are "herding dogs" and oh please God make it stop before my head asplodes. Here is a reprint of that first post.]

**************

I know a number of keen, athletic dogs that love to crouch, stalk and circle. In fact, if they were border collies you’d say that they were stylish workers, with a fair amount of eye and good balance on their “stock” — but they’re not border collies. They’re not even “herding” dogs. They’re pit bulls, and the behavior they’re displaying is prey drive.

I’ve been told that most animal behavior texts don’t discuss drives, and when they do, the terminology is ambiguous. The consensus seems to be that the term is antiquated, though dog trainers discuss drives all the time: play drive, fetch drive, food drive, defense drive, fight drive. [Check out Schutzhund Obedience: Training in Drive at Dogwise.com.] Animal behaviorist Roger Abrantes writes that it is important to “distinguish between instinct and drive,” though, and I’m happy to give it a shot.

Drive means one of several varieties of “compulsive energy,” such as aggression, sex or self-preservation. Instinct is the inherent capacity to perform a complete behavior sequence: in this case the gathering of stock over vast areas of land and the conscientious management of that stock, in great or small numbers, in relation to a shepherd who may be close at hand or out of sight and miles away. This particular behavior sequence and its variations are instinctive in that they cannot be taught, only enhanced through experience, much as the ability to swim is acquired by young otters and flight perfected by young hawks. Prey drive, to use Mark Derr's definition, is “aggression that expresses itself as boldness and assertiveness in seeking and capturing objects.”

In his book The Sheepdog, Its Work and Training Tim Longton writes of his border collie Nell, who was suckling two-week-old pups and had been left home on a busy day. The shepherd and his helpers were endeavoring to move an unruly mob of lambs:

“[Nell] heard us trying to drive this lot along a rough bank where felled woodland and a landslide added to the hazards. I could hear her crying to be let out; a few minutes later she appeared, having gained the window. Two young lambs dashed uphill. Nell set off after them. She was fighting a losing battle, as the lambs split, and as soon as she had one on its way the other galloped madly in the other direction. I did not command her but, appreciating the position, Nell pushed one lamb in front of her and nosed it right in among the rest of the lambs. Then she returned for the other, which by now had escaped into a 200-acre field with 400 sheep in it. We continued our slow journey, and when we reached the far end there was Nell with a lamb pinned at the back of a gate. It was the lamb we wanted.”

That’s herding instinct. (Nell was English Shepherd’s Champion in 1951.) "It cannot be stressed too strongly," writes Longton, "that if you want a work dog both parents should be work dogs." Border collies bred to a working standard — that is, bred solely to work livestock — are the finest stockdogs on earth.

But when your sheltie, Belgian shepherd, beagle or Jack Russell runs happy, yappy laps around the neighbor’s grandkids, chases water from the garden hose until he’s soaked, nips at the hands and heels of your squealing six-year-old, runs furiously after every car, cat and bicycle he sees, or shows what passes for balance on dog-broke sheep in a round pen, that’s not herding instinct — it’s prey drive.

Prey drive is evident to some degree in most healthy dogs. Chihuahuas can exhibit prey drive. Poodles can display it. The only difference between their behavior and your neighbor’s sheltie’s behavior is that when poodles and chihuahuas get excited and chase children and nip fingers and heels, no one smiles and says, “Look! Bit-Bit is herding!"

The great majority of dogs in the American Kennel Club’s ironically named Herding Group would ignore livestock completely if it weren’t for prey drive. With sufficient prey drive, though, a responsive dog of practically any breed could win an AKC herding title. I’ve seen a determined pair of Lhasa apsos compete successfully in an arena trial, and years ago Diane Jessup’s pit bull Dread won high score on ducks at an ASCA [Australian Shepherd Club of America] competition — he pushed the ducks around the course with his nose. Not real herding, Ms. Jessup has said, just a good dog obliging his handler. (Dread was also titled on sheep.)

The American Kennel Club has always limited its herding contests to dogs in the AKC Herding Group: a face-saving conceit that perpetuates the myth of “herding breeds” with unique talents beyond the ken of pit bulls and Lhasa apsos. Perhaps this really was the case one hundred fifty years ago — before the onset of dog shows and breeding to a conformation standard — but with one or two notable exceptions, today’s “herding breeds" no longer have any working instincts that set them apart from Labrador retrievers or Dalmatians. In fact, during a major show circuit a few years ago, the most impressive “herding” dog at the popular “herding instinct test” was a friend’s golden retriever.

Herding, of course, has its evolutionary roots in prey drive. But prey drive itself — chasing, circling, crouching, stalking — is no reflection of herding background, instinct, ability, or potential. If it were, I’d be running my pit bulls in the USBCHA Finals.

I love dogs with high prey drive; they are easy to motivate and a joy to train. But when prey drive is dismissed, excused or poorly managed, it can place children and others at risk of a dog bite or attack. Ask my neighbor: Art spent time in the hospital after he was chased and pulled from his bike by a German shorthaired pointer. Dogs with high prey drive need appropriate exercise, good training and careful management — recommendations that apply to all dogs, but particularly to the ones that are more than two degrees north of stuffed.


When someone with a conformation-bred dog says, “Oh, look — Scout is herding the kids!” the truth is that Scout is only doing what any energetic dachshund, golden retriever or cocker spaniel would do under the same circumstances. It’s prey drive. It isn’t by any means unique to the so-called “herding breeds,” and it certainly isn’t “herding.”

*************

Related posts:
How to create a working stockdog
Great read: The Dog Wars by Donald McCaig
On titles and codes of ethics [or, "How can you tell if a dog is worth breeding if he doesn't have a title?" Answer: Watch him work.]
Zamora Hills [and some dog show]
The soft bigotry of low expectations suits the BCSA just fine
Inside animal minds

How did I miss this?

Apparently the alpha roll is now the zen down [pdf: see page 6].

[Y]our dog should learn to calm down when you instruct him to. To do this, we help the dog physically to move into a comfortable, resting position – even though at first, most dogs have no intention of doing so.

First, have your dog lie down. If he responds to a “down” cue, that’s great. If you need to kneel down beside him, and help him down, using pressure on his shoulders or gently lifting his legs out from under him, that’s okay too. At any rate, once he’s down, you should be kneeling beside him. Now, gently roll him onto his side – it’s often helpful to press him back into your body, but it’s not necessary. When he’s on his side, place one of your hands on his shoulder, the other on his rump, and apply just enough pressure to keep him down. When you feel his muscles relax, you can release him quietly. At first, he may only lie on his side for a second or so – or he may fight it intensely. Stick with it, and he’ll learn to relax all the way, and probably enjoy it.

You can use this exercise whenever you wish, but it’s especially handy if your dog has become aroused by the sight of another dog, a cat or a “scary” person.

No Marin jokes, please.

[H/T: Lenajo at the Border Collie Boards, who wrote that the zen down was "promoted in detail" at the APDT's Portland conference in 2007. Bad me for being so out of the loop.]

Photo: Sleepy Puppy, by basykes on Flickr.

"Ich will auch so viele Hunde"

Or, as we might say here in SoCal, "Duuuude...! I totally want that many dogs, too."

H/T to the irrepressible Roughly [oops!] Ruffly Speaking for this great vid of fit, happy, gorgeous, purpose-bred dogs in beautiful condition and, oh yes, beautifully trained. [Lovely encounter with a loose dog at 1:37.] If this gentleman [a sled dog racer from Germany] can handle sixteen dogs so effortlessly, managing one or two should be a piece of cake for the rest of us, right? Right...?

Enjoy:

Dear Mr. President-Elect

You have a month and a half.


That's it: maybe six weeks. They'll go by like lightning. Use them wisely, and we'll rejoice. Not so wisely, and you'll fail to provide the optimal foundation for your new puppy's life. Even worse, you'll have a dog's lifetime to regret your failings.

Cabinet appointments? Forget 'em. [ For a minute, anyway.] I'm talking about socializing your puppy. Nothing, but nothing is more important.

"Oh, that!" you say. "Of course we'll socialize our dog."

Forgive me, Mr. President-Elect, but I said socializing your puppy.

Beyond 12 weeks, it's rehab, it's a wild goose chase, it's closing the barn door after the horse has not merely escaped but has disappeared for good. After 12 weeks you can call it whatever you like, but it isn't socialization.

I can't begin to tell you how important this is. You have until the puppy is 12 weeks old, maybe 14 weeks if you're lucky, to help him become the most happy, friendly, confident, and above all safe dog to be around, for the rest of his life and a good deal of yours.

And that's what every president needs, right? The last thing you want is a dog that will bite well-meaning reporters, or cower when foreign delegations arrive in unfamiliar outfits, or bolt in panic at the sight of an umbrella, or, God forbid, growl and snap at the poster child in a wheelchair or the elderly dignitary leaning on a cane.

So here's the drill, and it's a simple one: your pup must meet one hundred [very different] people by the time he's 12 weeks old. Friendly people, it goes without saying.

People of every size, shape, color and language group.
Men with beards.
Women with funny hats.
People in wheelchairs.
People on crutches.
People on bikes, skateboards, rollerblades.
People carrying ladders, tennis rackets, grocery bags, sporks, incense burners, surfboards, umbrellas, babies.
Babies.
Sleeping babies.
Small, squirming, squealing babies.
Toddlers.
Teenagers.
Old people.

As Jean Donaldson says in her classic book Culture Clash [in Chapter 3 -- Socialization, Fear and Aggression -- a chapter that should be required reading for every person who ever plans to have anything to do with dogs], you don't want a dog that merely tolerates all these folks. Why would you settle for that, when you can have a relaxed, confident dog that enjoys them? Why would you want a dog that hides from your daughters' friends, or snaps at them, when you can have a dog that loves people and is reliably, happily, famously friendly and comfortable around them?

Don't worry that your puppy will catch horrible illnesses from spending so much time schmoozing, either. For one thing, if you keep the pup in your arms and -- this is important -- off lawns other dogs might have visited, he should be fine. For another thing:

The American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior has written [...] that inadequate socialization leads to behavioral problems, including fear, avoidance and aggression. And behavioral problems are not just the primary reason dogs are dumped at shelters -- they also are the No. 1 cause of death for dogs younger than 3 years old.

"While puppies' immune systems are still developing during these early months, the combination of maternal immunity, primary vaccination and appropriate care makes the risk of infection relatively small compared to the chance of death from a behavior problem."

Huge thanks to Ian Dunbar for the "100 people by three months of age" mantra, and here's an example of how well it works:

A dear friend of mine got a border collie pup just over a year ago. Without socialization, border collies can be shy, suspicious, fearful, dangerously reactive and much worse -- trust me on this. So my friend, treats in hand [and pocket], set out to introduce her pup to 100 people by the time the pup reached three months of age. She did it, too. And on Halloween my friend dressed up her border collie and joined some neighborhood families, all in costume, as they walked their children from house to house. [Every Halloween our town blocks off a few streets for trick-or-treaters. No traffic -- just lots and lots of people.] The streets were filled with ninjas, pirates, princesses, dragons, robots and God knows what else. I personally know a few dogs that would still be running in wild-eyed terror if they'd come within a block of that celebration. My friend's border collie? He had a wonderful, confident, tail-wagging good time, and was greeted and petted by one and all. I'm sure he thought the whole thing was arranged just for him.

100 people by three months of age, Mr. President-Elect. Your dog and your family will thank you. So will everyone else. [Mention "100 people by 3 months" on your weekly radio address, sir, and I will personally come to your home and house-train the new pup for you. Hope to see you soon!]


The wonderful image above is from TiggerLarue's Pound Puppy Rescue set on Flickr: click here to see the original.

How often to train a dog? It depends.

Chip — pride of the Beagle Brigade [with his handler, Customs Inspector Carla Blackmon].

Researchers in Denmark have published a study in Applied Animal Behavioral Sciences demonstrating that "dogs" [that is to say, the 18 laboratory Beagles used in the study] "learn" [to touch a mousepad with a front paw, taught by a person using a clicker and treats -- not that there is anything wrong with that] better when taught once a week than when taught five times a week.

Which tells us exactly nothing about how often to train stockdogs, assistance dogs, search & rescue dogs, agility dogs, companion dogs or just about any other kind of dog. How often one trains depends on the individual dog, the trainer, the task, and the training environment, for starters.

Check out the first sentence of the abstract:

Despite the fact that most domestic dogs receive some kind of training, surprisingly few studies have been undertaken to analyze the process in detail, e.g. the question of how often training should be done has not been investigated in dogs.

Surely you jest. Is it, I dunno, within the realm of possibility that guide-dog trainers, hearing-dog trainers, trainers of great working stockdogs, trainers of Schutzhund world champions, and trainer/authors like Jean Donaldson and Karen Pryor might have given some thought to "how often training should be done"? Did it occur to the researchers that these authorities might have insight worth sharing?

My first dog was a light-speed learner of a Beagle, a dog who understood everything, and reading this study made my heart ache. Excerpt:

In a survey on the use of training in establishments using non-human primates as laboratory animals, it was demonstrated that even though there is general awareness of the benefits of training, it is not very widespread, partly due to a perceived overestimation of the time investment needed (Prescott et al., 2005). To optimize both the economy and the welfare of laboratory dogs it is thus of interest to know how much time needs to be put into training and, perhaps more important, what kind of training schedule is the most efficient.

Cripes, those poor critters. See how little time you need to spend with them? If this hits the mainstream press I can imagine lots of pet dogs getting a lot less attention. The less the better! I mean, it was proven scientifically, right?

And this gem: All dogs showed interest in the food during training.

Beagles?! Showed interest in food?!! The mind boggles.

You can find the entire study here, and read Christie Keith's rather different take on it over at Pet Connection.

Dog bite prevention: "The disease is us."

Here are some easy-to-follow directions for creating a dog that will bite somebody.

1. Don't read up on dog breeds, dog behavior or dog training before you get your dog.

2. Don't get a pit bull or a Rottweiler. Buy a "safe breed."

3. Get your dog from a pet shop, or from a neighbor who bred his untrained, outside dog to make some extra cash.

4. Don't socialize your puppy. The socialization window slams shut at four months, but who has the time to introduce a pup to 100 new people [of every age and aspect] by the time he's twelve weeks or so? Besides, you don't want Scout to be friendly with strangers. You want him to be protective.

5. Don't train your pup. If Scout chews on the furniture or is too stubborn or too damn dumb to be house-trained, you can always just leave him in the yard.

6. Don't worry if Scout runs off and roams the neighborhood. If he gets enough exercise, maybe he won't bark outside your bedroom window all night. It's not like there's a leash law or anything.

7. Find another dog to mate with your first one. Your cousin's next-door-neighbor wants to breed the family pet, and this kind of dog is so popular, you'll have all the pups sold in no time. They're selling for $1200 apiece at the pet shop in the mall, did you see that?

8. Or, you know, you could just give them away in front of the local market. To anybody.


*************

Extensive research and investigation using 40 years of data has conclusively identified the reckless and criminal ownership practices that can cause a dog to become dangerous:

OWNER MANAGEMENT & CONTROL OF DOGS

Owners failing to humanely contain, control and maintain their dogs (chained dogs, loose roaming dogs, cases of abuse/neglect), and owners failing to properly supervise interaction between children and dogs.

FUNCTION OF DOG

Owners maintaining dogs for guarding/protection, fighting, intimidation/status, or as yard dogs. Such dogs are resident dogs, not family pets.

REPRODUCTION STATUS OF DOG

Owners failing to spay or neuter animals not used for competition, show, or in a responsible breeding program.

From 2005-2007, increased focus on the negligent and criminal human behaviors has resulted in 31% of owners and/or parents of young victims being criminally charged.

HOLDING OWNERS ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE HUMANE TREATMENT, CONTAINMENT, AND CONTROL OF THEIR DOGS IS THE ONLY WAY TO MINIMIZE INCIDENCE OF CANINE AGGRESSION.

The quotes above, as well as the quote in this post's title, are from Karen Delise, a nationally known authority on dog bites. Her website on dog attacks is remarkably thorough, and thoroughly fascinating. [Mine ain't bad, either ;~) ] The "dog bites" tag on this blog will bring up more information.

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A few more facts: most dog-bite victims are young children. Most bites occur at home. In most cases, the dog involved belongs to the family or to friends. The single, most valuable dog-bite prevention measure? Parental supervision of children with the family dog. Over 6,000 Americans are hospitalized each year because of dog bites. The vast majority of those hospitalizations involve "safe breeds."

*************

Tragedy in Texas: loose, untrained, unsocialized dogs kill a seven-year-old. Here's the link. "Four pit bulls," said the Associated Press reporter. Here are screen grabs of one of them:







Looks like a sheepdog mix to me... But it must be a pit bull, because safe breeds never bite — do they?


Dog attacks are a symptom. The disease is us.

How to housetrain a dog

Photo by Gordon M. Grant for the New York Times.

Whatta ya think I'm gonna share my secrets? Fuhgeddaboudit! I'm packing my bags and moving to Manhattan --- gonna housetrain the dogs of hedge fund managers. Gonna make a mint.

Mr. Strict’s recommendation for solving Steffi’s housebreaking problem was much more onerous — on us. He said we had to make Steffi sleep in her crate at night with the door closed instead of on the bed. (“Dogs don’t like to soil where they sleep,” he noted.) He also wrote out a detailed schedule that called for us to feed Steffi twice a day and take her out for walks three times a day at exactly the same times.

“Hiring a dog trainer won’t solve your problems,” Mr. Strict said. “This process is 70 percent owner and 30 percent dog. You have to make a commitment to doing the exercises for at least a month to see lasting results.”

Ms. Gentle’s housebreaking prescription was conscientiously canine friendly. While she also insisted that we consign Steffi to sleep in her crate at night, she encouraged us to make the crate “den-like” by stuffing it with favorite toys and by partly covering it with a sheet before we turned out the lights. But she was even tougher on us than Mr. Strict. In addition to taking Steffi out for extra walks, we were supposed to keep a log of her eating, drinking, defecating and urinating.

“Adults learn much faster than puppies,” Ms. Gentle insisted. “So you can almost always teach an old dog new tricks if you commit yourself to taking the time.”

To my chagrin, the family voted to shelve the housebreaking issue. Harrison claimed he did not prefer Ms. Gentle over Mr. Strict or vice versa. Alison claimed that her work schedule and Harrison’s school schedule weren’t compatible with the recommended walking and feeding schedules for Steffi.

And boy, does Dr. Stephen Zawistowski, executive vice president and science administrator of the A.S.P.C.A., let these folks off the hook. Dr. Z knows as well as I do that the problem isn't "the relentless scheduling demands modern life puts on all concerned." The problem is that some people are unwilling to spend even a minimal amount of time training their dogs. Money on trainers, though --- they'll spend that.

Big Apple, here I come.